Chapter One

     The poor little Mini Cooper had a rough start in life.  A 2003 base model R50 Cooper, it suffered an engine fire when only 9 months old.  Although the fire was extinguished quickly, enough damage was done to warrant an insurance total and subsequent sale to an auto broker, who then sold the car on ebay in January of 2005.  The new young owner laboriously put the Mini back to running condition and worked his way through the labyrinthine task of a title transfer.  For awhile, life was good.

 Fire in Mini Cooper   A year or so later, while scaring the cones on the local autocross course, the little Mini spun not one - but two big end rod bearings.  “It kind of lost power toward the end of my run and then wouldn’t start” was the pilot’s quote.  Of the damage, the destroyed crankshaft journal and therefore junked crank topped the list.

     The youngster did what any self respecting hot-rodder would do, he bought a Mini Cooper S engine and transmission from a junkyard.  Only later did he realize what a Titanic task it would be to make his Cooper become a Cooper S.  He then made another bold move; he went back to college and left the Mini in his buddy’s apartment parking lot.  The buddy, being a patient sort, lasted almost 5 years before he laid down the law and said the Mini had to go.   

     That’s where your author came in.  Ebay again, and what a steal!  The car only brought $2,001.00 due to a litany of issues, including a title history in a Hurricane Rita disaster area, an uncertain outcome of how easily the current title would be to transfer, a broken driver side window, a dented door and a blown airbag (?).  At the top of the list however, it was a generally disassembled car - with a blown motor.

     In the ‘plus’ column, the little Mini came with a spare but damaged MCS engine, a spare damaged Getrag 6 speed transmission - and it was British Racing Green.  The author felt the green color alone tipped the scales in the right direction.  After a $550 transport ride to Texas, the Mini was welcomed with open arms - and a soon-to-be open wallet.

Mini Cooper arrival by truck

 

Chapter Two

     The first order of business was to bond with the Mini by taking inventory.  Broken window?  Check.  Dented door?  Check.  MCS engine in the engine bay, held in by rope and some chain?  Check.  However, the basic car wasn’t in too bad condition.  The interior smelled funky, but was all there.  (It was later determined the torrential rains during the transport made it through the broken window and into the carpet.)   The door dent wasn’t so bad.  The Union Jack on the roof, although faded, was pretty cool.  If things went poorly, the car could probably be parted out for a small profit, or so your author told his wife.  The goal of repairing the Mini for budget transportation seemed obvious.  The real goal was to sell off all the unused stuff and recover as much of the investment as possible.

     The Cooper motor, sure enough, had a crankshaft ready for the dumpster.  The #1 connecting rod and piston were also suspect and couldn’t be saved.  The head and block however, were in good condition.  Most of the parts looked to be there.  Also, the original Cooper 5 speed transmission was included and looked quite nice, since the car only had 36,000 miles on the odometer when things went south.  The next order of business was to tear down the MCS ‘junkyard’ engine and transmission, which both displayed the distinct signs of having been rallied off into the red clay woods of someplace like Alabama or Georgia. 

     The Getrag injuries included a broken stub of a CV axle still in the carrier, a hole in the aluminum case near the broken stub from the flailing shaft, a broken clutch slave cylinder mount and a damaged case bolt hole.  Other than that, nothing serious…

 Mini Cooper Transmission 2Mini Cooper Transmission

 

 

 

 

 

With some judicious searching online for used parts, a John Cooper Works LSD was located and installed, since the tranny was apart anyway.

Chapter Three

     Since buying a salvage motor would be entirely too easy, your author calculated the most difficult and obscure route would be to assemble an engine from the available parts.  After signing up on the prominent Mini freak forums, the question asked was:  Is it possible to use a Cooper S crankshaft and rods in a Cooper engine?      

     The answers came back quick.  “Bad idea because of…” but one professional Mini nut not only said it was do-able but that he’d done several and it worked pretty well.  He was immediately chosen to do business with.  Nice, patient guy too.  Custom CP pistons were ordered, the MCS head and Cooper block was sent to the machine shop and a month later, the engine parts were all back in the shop.  In only two evenings, it went back together without a hitch.  Sort of.

   Cooper crank pulleys don’t fit on Cooper S cranks.  They’re .5mm too big.  A new Ati pulley was ordered so as not to slow progress.

 Mini Cooper EngineThe engine went back in the car with little drama.  The 6 speed transmission was more of a tricky fit but it too went in without major injury.  Once the engine and transmission were back in, things went relatively quickly, especially considering the author had no clue how things came apart.  The Germans are smart like that, as most parts could only fit one way.  Plus, as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words!  Pictures from the manual were indispensable.

 

Chapter Four

The interior of the car was in very good condition, with a couple of exceptions.  The passenger airbag deployed at some point in the past and the stop-gap fix incorporated by the previous owner, while ingenious, would prevent the Mini from passing a state inspection.  A new airbag and new airbag cover were installed, along with an updated 3 spoke steering wheel.  Most of the dash had to be disassembled at the same time, to remove some homespun wiring modifications.  Ultimately, with the help of a SRS reset tool from China (ebay $40 shipped!), the airbag light was extinguished. Mini Cooper Interior

With a new battery, fluids and a final check, the time had come to start the car.  But it wouldn’t start.  It turned over fine, coughed and popped but the gas smelled like 5 year old gas, which was exactly the case.  So, the gas tank had to be drained while the injectors were sent off to be cleaned.  Once back together, FrankenMini still refused to start.  We tried hard, so hard in fact, we burned up the starter.  With parts robbed from the Cooper starter, the Cooper S starter was rebuilt and put back in place. 

 

Chapter Five

The expert guys’ response to the car not starting, after listening to the symptoms, was basically “It’s probably timing – or a bad crank sensor”.  Your author, confident in his ability to correctly assemble an engine, ignored the first suggestion and went with the “bad sensor” theory.  This proved false, of course.  Two weeks were wasted before a minor disassembly was performed to accurately assess the timing, which was off by 4 sprocket teeth.  4 teeth are usually enough to bend valves - but luck prevailed.  Once back together the engine fired up immediately. 

It sounded pretty good too.  It was a bit too loud, had a leaky fuel line (right next to the header, for added excitement), a rattle from the header touching a heat shield, and assorted other issues. But it was good enough for a test run around the block.  After a warm-up, we blasted off but were soon consumed by a foggy cockpit, smelling of coolant.  The test was aborted to find the leak in the heater core.  A trip to the salvage yard the next day uncovered another heater core, plus the two aluminum service lines.  This repair is not pleasant, BTW.

 

Chapter Six

Once back together, the next order of business was to pass the state safety and emission test and register the car.  The problem was, the computer needed about 100 miles of driving to re-map.  With no tags or stickers, how is one supposed to drive around legally?  One suggestion, from the nice lady at the DMV, was to log the mileage at night. 

The morning drive, while muted by paranoia, was loud - but pleasant.  The on board fire extinguisher and cell phone weren’t necessary.  The engine lacked bottom end but once past 3,000rpm started to pull.  The transmission shifted normally.  It had a good clutch feel, good brakes, tight suspension, firm steering and no rattles.  Just a pesky ABS light and wheel speed sensor light to troubleshoot.  After the drive, the car passed the inspection and DMV registered FrankenMini to legally navigate Texas.  Lord help us all.     

 

Postscript

Mini Cooper finished

It’s now two years later and the MINI is still my daily transportation.  If the MINI dealer wasn’t so far away, I would buy a new one.  I like them.  But if I had it to do over, I would hunt down a 2005/2006 Getrag 6-speed.  Mine is earlier and first gear is too tall.  Coupled with the aluminum flywheel (another bad choice for in-town driving), it’s a pain sometimes.  The stock R-50 “Holies” weigh about half of what my S-Lite wheels weigh.  Now I know why.  Now that I’m past 50, ‘stock’ is not a bad set-up.  Don’t get me wrong, I love hot rod stuff – but as in life, it’s a trad-off.  In case you’re wondering, my total outlay of cash was less than $4,000 after the spare parts were sold off!    It sure was fun.